And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
