I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize