It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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