The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
