you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
