No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
