I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
a search helicopter?!
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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