There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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