thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
