No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
