She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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