I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
