Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
