no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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