Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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