your room smells of hookers.
And success
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
