I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
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