She is in my trunk
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I need to calm my uterus...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
