that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
