everyone is single if you try hard enough
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
This is the high leading the old right now
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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