is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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