Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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