I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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