Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
