I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Randomize
