He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
