Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
