Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
