you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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