I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
