It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
