fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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