I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
