i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
