well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
