He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
