But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Dicks are not precious.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
