physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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