and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
