What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
