The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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