I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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