woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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