No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
a search helicopter?!
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
