Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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