and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Randomize