honey bunches of taint.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
