I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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