just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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