Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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