just come out here and I will go home with you...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
