Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My vagina is officially offended.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
