I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
