Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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