Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
