Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
