Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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