just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize