My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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