Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
