I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
