After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
