there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
i now understand why vodka
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
