I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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