I want to have your abortion
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
