Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
