Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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