I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm sobbing to NWA
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
