I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
