do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
