yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
