In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
