It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
